Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Be who you already are.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

What do dreams about dead people mean?

The sadness was still there.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Riddle: How do budget cuts, DEI hires, and empty reservoirs, turn the bluest, most Democrat city Red?

I was tired of trying and failing.

It’s here now, writing to you.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Why is money considered to be the root of all evil?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

During the Atlmark incident in 1940, the Brit war criminals violated Norwegian neutrality. Hitler could then justify invading Norway. Have the Brits ever apologized for violating Norwegian neutrality?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

And the sadness?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

What is your favourite colour and why?

I was tired of fighting.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

You are like me, then.

How did Farrah Fawcett die?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Do you ever feel like you are doing good, but would do better if people hadn’t blamed you or even bothered you? I have gotten lonely, but I always am up to something (creating my destiny).

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Why are US customs agents so talkative? I cringed hard when a US customs agent asked me if I was on vacation. He doesn’t need to know why I went to another country as long as I am a U.S. citizen.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

ChatGPT's AI coder Codex now lets you choose the best solution - BleepingComputer

I had run out of hope.

It’s still here.